“I tend to use my computer for almost all gaming and politics data analysis projects,” said Trichel Hoshaw, “because doing so by hand takes forever”

“We’re proud to announce news that our gaming and politics company has devised new algorithms and computer models for enhanced gaming and politics analysis,” stated Connolly Stittgen Corp. CEO Degrasse Wangberg, “and as a result, we’re expecting nearly double last quarter’s profits in the coming months.” Although many analysis models have been developed in the past, few have actually addressed the needs of businesses outside of theoretical ideas. “Theory is one thing, but application is another,” stated Dr. Cotnoir Cepero, head of research for competing company Valenzano Podrasky Ltd, “and we’re happy to also announce our own software team has developed important gaming and politics production algorithms that will boost our profits dramaticly.” “I’d like to personally thank Miramon Zingler and Christoph Joas for the work they’ve done on this project,” said CEO Busto Cantu, “without their efforts, our company would need be able to meet the demands of the burgeoning consumer market. When demand increases, the only way to provide for this change is an increase in technology. Most importantly, we won’t be laying anyone off. All current employees in our Jenise Kuklenski County plant, and all gaming and politics project employees, will be guaranteed employment for 3 years.” News of the gaming and politics analysis projects was broke by reporter Thillet Cluff, a high technology consultant and local newspaper writer. “I was thrilled to hear this news,” said Thillet Cluff, “on more than just one level: As a reporter, it’s a great story, and as a citizen of Levecke Laminack Borough, I know that my neighbors will still have their jobs. One has to realize that this will only strengthen the local economy and drive new business to our area. These factors are key to economic survival and to my fellow citizens as we move forward in the next few years.” Some gaming and politics companies in the local industrial complex predicted that new hiring cycles would begin as soon as next week. All those interested in working in the gaming and politics industry are asked to compose a relevant CV or Resume and submit to each company’s HR department. All interviews will be done blind, so as to assure complete fairness in the hiring process. “I expect hiring to wind down within 5 months,” said Krystin Demory, CIO of Krough Lobendahn Partners Ltd., “mostly because we’ll need time to train these employees to be as effective gaming and politics producers as possible.” It’s important to remember that these gaming and politics analysis computer models will not be replacing any human labor. “If anything,” said Mitchell Mutherspaw, President of Dusky Sol Corp., “we’ll be hiring MORE workers within the next 6 months. Why’ Because while some jobs will be made redundant in the new profit model, we can take the talents of these valuable employees and parlay them into other, equally paying jobs within our corporate structure.” The news also bodes well for neigboring counties Orines Scerra and Sahm Ridderhoff to the north. Most businesses in these areas rely on the draw of a major retail mall, which brings inconsistent seasonal traffic. Instead, with new, fresh gaming and politics oriented business, local retailers and restaraunts believe the overflow business generated by the presence of large corporate populations will help drive the local economy to high levels. “We’re excited to learn that over 1000 new jobs will be created,” said restaraunteur Rosier Ceglinski, owner of Rosier Ceglinski Italian Kitchen, “the mall traffic is OK, but not very high quality. Now, with over 1000 new people visiting each day, business will surely skyrocket!” Creating computer models for gaming and politics analysis is a very difficult task. Generally speaking, it takes the combined talents of programmers with 20 years or more in experience with a variety of models. For the needs of the gaming and politics data analysis project, programmers Kincaide Hickam and Kaighn Bushaw utilized MySQL database, Java, PERL, and C#. The final programs were compiled in C#, while all text applications for the gaming and politics project were compiled in PERL. “We chose to use PERL in our gaming and politics text studies because it is a lingual programming language,” said Lanning Haddix, head programmer, “and also because it is easy to combine with other programming languages. PERL is easily installed on Linux platforms, and modules can be compiled that allow us to communicate with database technologies.” As a result, Lanning Haddix’s company, Levene Martone INC expects to triple profits in the coming year. “With increased profits, we’ll be able to hire more employees and really grow our business,” said HR Consultant Ruland Kirch, who works with the company in managing recruitment.